I am 27 years old. I was in a relationship for three years which ended in December last year. My ex, whom I met in university, cheated on me throughout these three years with a friend of mine, who she would sleep with in exchange for money. I would later learn that she got pregnant and aborted, a factor that she confessed to me and which I forgave her for.
Well, in August last year, I paid her a surprise visit only to find her in bed with another man, a married man. She swore that he was “just a friend” but this time round I just couldn’t take it, and decided to painfully walk away, though I really loved her.
I loved her so much, that I even supported her financially, morally and in any way she wanted me to. In fact, I budgeted for her needs more than I did mine and my family’s.
By the time I ended the relationship, she had cheated on me with around 11 men, and those are the ones I knew about. Each time I mentioned marriage, she always said that she wasn’t ready. After the breakup, I got so depressed, I decided to confide in my ex’s friend and we ended up falling in love. We are now lovers.
The relationship has been good, and though she is nice, kind, caring and straight forward, she is not exactly what I want in a woman, physically. She is a bit huge, more than me, yet I prefer slim women, therefore I am not physically attracted to her. I’m trying to convince myself to love her the way she is but I’m worried about her body size.
I don’t know how to tell her this without hurting her because she loves me so much and wants me to marry her. Please help me. If I leave her, would I have lost a diamond to pick a pebble?